Determining Your Top Five Values
(adapted from The Values Compass, Dr Mandeep Rai)
Most people focus more on what they do not want in life. Having a focus on what we do want can begin with knowing what we choose to value.
Recognising and implementing our values; what we value most as to how we choose to live our life helps us shape who we are and optimise how we make decisions, build relationships and how we lead as a leader.
The values you choose as your top 5 should be things you cannot live without. Those values where we are caused pain when they are not respected by others.
Instructions
- Read through the 5 sheets of values – change, continuity, community, connection and core values – noting those values that resonate most to you
- You may choose to print the sheets or simply write down the words on a piece of paper
- Keep going until you have around 15-20 or so
- From the groups you need to begin making choices and establishing priorities by asking ourselves four questions:
- Think of a time in your life or career when you have been truly happy. What was present at that moment? What needs were being met? And how? What made you feel fulfilled?
- Think of a particularly disappointing time in your life. What was missing? What went wrong? Which needs were not being met?
- Think of the time in your life you were most upset. Why was that, and what values had been violated?
- What is your ultimate aim in life, your biggest accomplishment, and greatest regret? Does anything connect them?
- Think of a time in your life or career when you have been truly happy. What was present at that moment? What needs were being met? And how? What made you feel fulfilled?
Next steps
- Go back through your list and remove ones seeming less important now
- Think of how you feel as you read each word and ponder their significance in your life. Feel your way through those important to those fundamental to you. Aim to reduce your pile to 8-10
- Then, seek guidance from three people close to you, a family member, friend and work colleague or professional peer (can be your coach) and share your shortlist with them
- Ask for their views on what you have chosen so far… offer to return the favour
- This step helps us understand how others see us and to gain an objective perspective on how reality – through external eyes – matches up to our own perceptions. There is a difference between who we think we are, how we actually spend our time and what we wish for. Be honest with yourself and listen to the feedback from your team of three.
- Finally, review the list of what is there. Consider now how you would feel if each of these were taken away from you. Aim to end up with five values you would fight hardest to maintain, whatever the circumstances. Note you may find this last part difficult to do.
What comes next?
Once you have your top five, bring power and focus through ordering them according to priority. Right now, which of these values is doing the most to drive the decisions you make and the priorities you set? What has the most relevance in the circumstances of your life as they currently are?
The idea is return to this exercise again and again as your circumstances grow and change and where you need to prioritise and make decisions. Our values are dynamic. Whilst our top five may not change, the order will as circumstances in our life change. This reflecting our different values will mean different things to us at various stages in our life.
Your top five values:
1. ___________________________
2. ___________________________
3. ___________________________
4. ___________________________
5. ___________________________
A life lived with values in mind helps us feel more conscious, confident and committed about the things you choose to do. Being clear on our values allows us to make decisions based on our values on how best to pursue objectives, manage relationships, plan your time, and align priorities. When values are known, the hard thinking has already been done.
For each of the top five, ask yourself and write down: 1. Why does this value matter to me? 2. In what areas of my life is this value most important? 3. How well do I currently live this value?
Making decisions aligned to your values:
When making a decision aligned to your values, in order of priority go down the list of five and ask yourself:
- What would this particular value have you do?
- Is the decision you are inclined to take in line with your most important values?
- Or, if you do not know which way to jump, which way are the values pointing?
Knowing how to make decisions aligned to your values means you have no excuse. You now have a compass.